Parliamentary Sketch (as published in the press…)

I Say, I Say, I Say…

What’s Going on ‘Ere Then?

Not a good week to be young – especially if you are misunderstood.

As the desperate scramble for the last remaining lower price university places begins, politicians are falling over themselves to find ever more effective methods of disciplining, dragooning or water- cannoning young people out of their slouching ‘wha’eva, innit’ culture into either detention or uniformed national service!

The way-the-wind-blows, fashion-conscious politician will be aware that hugging hoodies is not just ‘so last year’, but also very pre-election! There’s now an unseemly scramble for the most eye-catching kneejerk policy response to the riots. It seems to take us back to the good old days when young people were there to be spoken about or spoken at but certainly not listened to.

Exam results will be concentrating minds. With limited and reducing job prospects, the Government’s promise to “work with young people…” to replace the Education Maintenance Allowance (EMA) with a “better system of supporting college students” appears to have come to very little.

I voted against the Government’s policy to increase tuition fees. But MPs have not been given a proper opportunity to vote on the proposed replacement of EMA. (Though we had an Opposition Debate in January when I refused to support the Government opposition to ‘re-think its decision on EMA’).

Whilst Ministers and senior police officers argue over who controls the police – police or politicians? – young people looking to the future deserve something more than the tough-love, kneejerk papering-over-the-cracks response to our so-called ‘broken Britain’.

The Government failed to come up with a meaningful and effective alternative to EMA this summer. So it ought to keep the EMA and find ways of reforming it. If my fellow politicians are serious about National Service (and I certainly see merits in it), they should recognise that it doesn’t come cheap. Investing in real opportunities for young people costs serious money. Giving young people a proper opportunity to give back to society costs more than money saved by sticking up tuition fees or abolishing EMA. Having been to Afghanistan, I can assure you that the last thing our soldiers want is a group of reluctant and ill trained conscripts putting everyone elses lives at risk.

Our young people deserve a better future than the one we’re mapping out for them now. Eye-catching kneejerk reactions fulfil the post-riot opportunity the media has created for politicians but meaningful and effective answers will take more work…and eye watering dollops of money.

Andrew George MP

16th August 2011

Originally posted 14/10/09

A PARLIAMENTARY SKETCH

As ever, never a dull moment.??The communities at either end of the Isles of Scilly ferry link deserve to be fully involved and consulted as six years of planning and hard work approaches its final and most contentious hurdle. I’m determined that a project I helped to set sail is delivered and that the £30 million of public funding is not lost. But it would be wrong to impose a project on a community affected by it without considering their reasonable concerns.??I spent time recently meeting people on the Isles of Scilly. I held six meetings. The Island Council were keen that local concerns were heard; indeed senior officers and members came twice. There is an understandable anxiety on the Islands that factors they fear are out of their control may scupper their biggest project for decades and jeopardise the link.??Having told the people of Penzance a month ago that they were “not fully appraised” it was disappointing that both Cornwall and the Scillies Councils were less keen to co-operate with a seventh public meeting I called in Penzance last Friday. As you know over 500 people turned up. Another successful meeting.??Few in Penzance or Scilly would see the ferry link put at risk. A solution can and must be found. Reasonableness and compromise are now required.??Meanwhile MPs in parliament are apparently unhappy that a top auditor is holding them to account. He should have gone further and investigated those who have apparently used taxpayers’ money to become property developers and capital gains tax avoiders; or those who bought a taxpayer funded second home in Westminster when they were within easy commuting distance. For some it would be like having a second home in Porthleven when you live in Penzance!??I have been either leading or deeply involved in debates this week on fishing, fair trade and water bills, etc. If MPs were more excited about these things, than apparently objecting to reasonable scrutiny of their financial affairs things would be a lot better.

Andrew George MP 14th October 2009

Originally posted on 01/04/09

A PARLIAMENTARY SKETCH Common’s officials were scurrying around trying to be helpful on the eve of April Fool’s Day.??I had prepared the following text for a Parliamentary Motion which I hoped would be ‘in order’ to be published on the Order Paper the following morning:

RETURN OF THE STONEHENGE MEGALITHS FROM GREECE

That this House is euphoric about the news of the discovery of many of the missing megaliths from Stonehenge in a remote and mountainous area of the Peloponnese Peninsula in Greece to where they were apparently taken to build an amphitheatre; considers this to be the single most important discovery in British archaeology for centuries, yet is astounded at the brazen effrontery of the Greek authorities who have scandalously refused their return to Britain where they rightly belong; believes the Greeks have attempted to defend their decision with the shameless and preposterous poppycock conventionally deployed by an ancient colonial power; calls on the Greeks to put right the wrongs of their forebears during that shameful period of ancient Greek imperial history; and asks HM Government, on the day of the announcement of this discovery (April 1st 2009), to answer the extraordinary Greek claim that there is no difference between this and the holding by the British Museum of the Parthenon Marbles. House rules require these Motions to ‘have a basis in reality’, which I thought should discount most of the proceedings of Parliament.??The reality that the Motion had a not so subtle political point – whether you agree or not – was immaterial.??So this April Fool will have to rejoin the Parliamentary ‘reality’ show.

Andrew George MP 1st April 2009

Please note, this article was originally posted on 19/01/05

A NOT UNUSUAL thing happened to me this week. A visitor speaking to Bert Pascoe (not his real name) a mechanic, on the forecourt of a local garage—after having his recently expired vehicle brought back to road-worthiness with courteous efficiency—dropped the idle comment into conversation that “You are so lucky down here. The pace of life is so slow.”…

… it is odd how people come to these broadbrush generalisations. Once a statement gains common currency people can tend to repeat what they hear without question. That the “pace of life is slow” in Cornwall, has become an unquestioned statement of truth just as “Cornishmen do it dreckly” can be seen on the back window of pretty well every other vehicle around these parts.

One local wag once said that the word “dreckly” was “similar to the Spanish word ‘mañana’ but without the same sense of urgency”! Stereotypes can become part of a healthy humour—especially if we are able to mock ourselves.

The fact is that the pace of life in Cornwall is pleasantly very slow indeed if you are retired, if you have come down here to retire or to semi-retire or if you are on holiday. But if you are in work or raising a family the pace of life is fast—no slower or faster than anywhere else I would imagine. Although many claim that in order to be in work and to stay in work in Cornwall you can’t afford to slow down.

- “A View from the Bottom Left-Hand Corner”, by Andrew George MP

Please note this article was originally posted on 19/01/05.

What on earth is a Cornishman, and an MP from a remote rural constituency representing the extreme west of Cornwall and the Isles of Scilly (i.e. the bottom left-hand corner), doing writing for Asian voice? – you may be thinking.

Surely all he will do is confirm just how out of touch he is. Surely he will merely prove, through politically incorrect language and misconceived stereotypes, that he is and will always remain on the nursery slopes of the cultural and ethnic learning curve? And I suspect you will probably be right.

But I have a few brief portraits which illustrate why I welcomed the opportunity to write for Asian Voice.

The first, for this edition, follows my experience of setting up what I call a Parliamentary Debate in a Methodist Church in Penzance in my constituency a couple of months ago to explore issues around the so called “War on Terror” and the “Middle East Crisis”.

I was joined at the top table by a Rabbi from the local Jewish community and a representative from the Cornish Islamic Centre. Apart from a faulty sound system and perishing conditions the 150 or so people who attended congratulated the organisers and speakers for a ‘pleasant’, ‘informative’ and ‘constructive’ evening. Many of those who spoke from the floor had visited the Middle East. Our Islamic speaker, Dr Rafai, talked of his background in Lebanon and we came out of the meeting with many smiles, mutual understanding, recognition and respect and a shared determination to work for tolerance and peace.

Not a word of protest could be heard as we thawed the audience out with tea and coffee.

Then some of the Jews, Muslims, Christians, heathens and those with unspecified faith, took up the hospitality kindly offered by a friend at the ‘Taj Mahal’. All in all a pleasant and productive meeting and, if it was repeated across all towns and cities in the UK, would make a major contribution to good ethnic, cultural and racial relations as well as a force for good in a wider world.

But within a week I started receiving letters from some of the silent members of the audience who proved to share an evangelical Christian theology and who accused me and both speakers of a conspiracy to denigrate Jews and of hostility towards Israel. Armed with quotes from the Old Testament, I was instructed that there were apparently divine rights for particular people and that this was divined prior to a second coming!

They presented a contortion of the event which bore no relationship to the one I had organised and chaired.

Were we any further forward? Had we achieved anything from the meeting after all? I am not so sure. Depressingly I had to concede that the apparent unanimity of support for mutual respect and tolerance was not shared by all. However, it was shared by the majority and although there will be no pleasing those who hold literal interpretations, we have to remain optimistic.

I hope to write again to illustrate possibly relevant sketches of life from the “bottom left-hand corner” of the UK.

Andrew George MP 19th January 2005

Originally posted January 30th 2008

The body count from this week’s small artillery fire and hand-to-hand combat on the front line of the Parliamentary battlefield: one ministerial resignation; one MP suspended; two political careers in tatters; and all politicians again tarred with the same brush.

As “they” say: “What goes around comes around”. In politics you can depend upon some who will gleefully jump on the bandwagon of opportunism to seek to maximise the discomfort of their opponents. But for them there is always a healthy portion of free range scrambled egg on its way to their face. But they never seem to learn…

The other response to these crises is for political leaders to attempt to change the story by always having a ready made goodie bag of “eye-catching initiatives” to launch with a flourish.

But it seems that the store of these is running dry. They must be very near to the bottom of the barrel now.

The PM’s enthusiastic pronouncement of privatised skills qualifications had even his own party loyalists pulling on uncomfortable smiles.

Perhaps the new era of “drive-thru” qualifications envisaged will come “with fries”!

A postscript to an indifferent week: There is no truth in the suggestion that Hamid Karzai, the Afghan President, consulted Paddy Ashdown’s former Parliamentary colleagues before he came to the conclusion that he couldn’t work with the former Royal Marine and diplomat. The fact that most of us are still suffering the post traumatic stress disorder of enduring his dictatorial regime and being barked at at 6.30 am each morning with orders for the day has nothing to do with it…

Originally posted February 10 2010

MPs have cottoned on to a new ruse; claiming “Parliamentary immunity” from any criticisms for arriving late at meetings, or mislaying papers and so on. Some are even using it at home to protect themselves from grievances over household chores.

Meanwhile Parliament itself is in hyper overdrive mode. Ends are being tied at a frantic rate of knots…

After years of little happening, the Shipping Minister has promised me that he would rapidly introduce a new Harbour Authority for Newlyn – opening the door for a major investment which it is hoped will breathe new life into our pre-eminent fishing port.

Although I may have failed in my bid to stop the privatisation of the Search and Rescue Helicopter Service, we welcomed news this week that Culdrose will not only keep its important status as the only base for 250 miles to provide a 24 hour service. Two new Sikorsky S92 helicopters arriving from 2012 with better and modern facilities – securing the importance of our local base.

I am encouraging local farmers and growers to lend their support for a supermarket watchdog. The Government opened a consultation this week on the Competition Commission’s proposal to make sure that British and developing world suppliers are treated fairly. This will be good for our food producers and for customers. I’ve slaved away chairing a national body pressing for this improvement over the past four years. Now we are only weeks away from real progress.

A Fire Service Minister apologised to my Committee this week for a Fire Control Project which has run out of control. I first protested about the plans seven years ago. Four years behind schedule and six times over budget the plan to operate Cornwall’s Fire Service from Taunton doesn’t look such a wise idea now – especially as our firemen would prefer that money to be spend on their engines and kit.

Now on to securing the Penzance to St Mary’s Ferry Link. Not before lots of avoidable froth and falling-out no doubt. I haven’t entirely given up calling for a calm and rational discussion.

Originally posted August 6th 2008

Perhaps it’s the now predictable August deluge of perpetual rain and showers. Or, maybe, it’s the refusal to take foreign holidays in an attempt to court favourable public relations?

Parliament might be mothballed in maintenance scaffolding and dust cloths. But the normality of frantic political debate, announcements of eye-catching initiatives, venomous disputation and even skulduggery and shadowy plots to depose leaders carries on as if MPs don’t know what to do with themselves when they haven’t got a Westminster village in which to ply their dark arts.

A stamp duty holiday? Perhaps. £4 billion pumped into the Government’s recently nationalised Bank – Northern Rock – which has repossessed nearly 4,000 homes this year. Angry demands for the cleaning up of MPs expenses from the leader of the very party which has more culprits in their midst than any other.  Which reap cries of ‘brazen’ and ‘smoke screen’ as a riposte. And, of course, the public shadow boxing and coded language of plots and subterfuge against the PM by members of his own flock. There’s almost more going on now than in a typical Parliamentary sitting week.

It’s enough to provoke a recall.

For those, like the PM, who seems to be on the wrong end of many of these events and stories, there’s the hope that the weather will change. Other diversions and the Olympics will preoccupy the press. The plotters will be able to get back on their sun loungers and troubles will evaporate with the puddles left by the early August soaking.

How different is was last summer. Mr Stalin at the height of his powers. A dream honeymoon start. Popular announcements to reduce prime ministerial patronage and the chance for all to have a say. The fickle media portrayed a man with Midas touch. In control. His happy backbenchers not worried about living in the shadows, enduring the carbon monoxide of obscurity.

How different now. To the media you’re either a ‘hero’ or ‘zero’. No half measures…

Originally posted September 26th 2007

The world of politics is presumed to be where the clever manipulation of fact, fiction and spin are presented. But how can you tell which is which? One of the simplest tests is often overlooked.

It’s a bit like comparing the worst type of fiction with the best classical literature. The difference often is that the main characters in good fiction have plausible motives – jealousy, passion, greed, etc – whereas in poor fiction people behave irrationally and out of character – if they have one.

Well, it is just like that in politics.

Politicians sometimes have to endure claims that they are behaving in an irrational manner. That a political leader ‘wants to destroy rural life’ or that they want to ‘undermine British business’ or that they aim to ‘abandon our cities’.

I often recommend that people who hear extravagant claims such as these simply put them to the ‘why would they want to do that?’ test.

If there appears to be no good reason to behave in that manner then it is probable that the claim has no substance. Likewise, I have heard the claim that I ‘want to hand all powers over to Brussels’ or that I ‘want to destroy local government in Cornwall’. It is difficult to commence an intelligent conversation in the face of such claims without it turning into a pantomime – ‘oh no I wouldn’t’, etc …

So in the ‘what’, ‘where’, ‘how’ and ‘whys’ of politics most of the information can be presented as fact. The ‘what’s’, the ‘where’s’ and the ‘how’s’ can be answered as part of an evidenced-based science. We can get quite close to the truth. But when we search for reasons, a little like Theologians, politicians can end up red faced and steamed up as opinion starts to diverge.

And why do I want to tell you all this? Probably because I am engaged in some dastardly plot and skulduggery to take over the world, no doubt…

Originally posted April 15th 2009

So, it’s a Portuguese water dog called Bo. One of the most challenging political decisions for the President of the US.

After a long period of indecisiveness President Obama has settled on the already famous black and white pooch. To his relief, the children are delighted. So were the news hounds who reported the announcement.

Meanwhile, in the playground of Westminster politics, the Prime Minister has found himself in the dog house again. Hounded by the press, it’s been discovered that one of his semi-house trained lapdogs has made a bit of a dog’s breakfast of his orders to ‘serve his master faithfully’.

There is something astonishing about the ‘smeary-email gate’ story which dragged Number 10 into the mire this week.

The dogs of war who snarl at and hound each other in the dog fight world of UK politics have always been privately baying for each others’ blood; shaping the effigies of their political opponents, wishing ill on everything they do and hatching plans to secure their downfall.

There is, of course, the embarrassment and guilt confirming anger of those who have been caught at it. But, equally, there’s the butter-would-not-melt-in-mouth feigned innocence and synthetic distress of those politicians who have been the subject of the smears. We only have to think back to the ‘dog whistle’ tactics of the past and the ‘devil-eyes’ posters employed by those on the other side to recognise that politics is a dirty game from whichever side of the battlefield you see it.

Obedience lessons from the latest chapter is that attack dogs need to be muzzled and kept on a short leash. If they don’t come to heel when ordered the master will need more than just a pooper scooper to clean up the mess!